


The most absurd Percy Jackson fanfic ever!

by 4ObsessedAuthor4



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: A wedding for some goddamned reason, Absolutely not to be taken seriously, Crack Fic, F/M, Incest, Really freaking weird man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4ObsessedAuthor4/pseuds/4ObsessedAuthor4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hazel has been in love with her brother for some time now...but he is getting married! Even though he's fourteen and everybody accepts this. Will Hazel be able to stop the wedding in time? Or confess her love for Nico? Find out in this absurd fanfic!</p><p> (Authors note: I'm warning you this fanfic is really weird. You'll either laugh or cry at it's oddness.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The most absurd Percy Jackson fanfic ever!

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea why I wrote this! For a better story please look at Nico Di Angelo and the weird fairy godmother and the quest for the book of Fairytales. I'm not joking that's really what it's called.

It was a beautiful day in New Rome. Well newer New Rome. Ever since Leo accidently burned down a demigods only hope of a normal life, New Rome was being rebulit. Hazel didn't know why Reyna made such a big deal about it. It was just New Rome, and only a few hundred people died! Gods,such a drama queen that girl.

But no matter Hazel was a girl on a mission! She was going to confess her love to the one person she cared about. No not Frank, he had dumped Hazel for a lovely squirrel. They were currently hibernating, but come spring Hazel was having roasted squirrel for dinner. No the one person she cared about was...Nico. He was just so handsome, and emoutionless. His usual monotone was music to her ears!

Anyhow Hazel was waiting outside Nico's villa. When suddenly she heard it a laugh. This wasn't Nico's laugh, Nico's sounded like if a care bear was being slaughtered. No this sounded giggly. But the worst type of giggly, man giggly. 

Sure enough sitting there with Nico was Jason, who was giggling. They were hugging and laughing. It was really fucking weird. Weird enough to almost be called absurd. Wait Hazel what did I tell you about fourth wall breaking?

Hazel looked around who said that?

Well I'll tell you. I'm the most powerful being in the universe. I have seen the end of galaxies. The collasping of stars. I have stared into the endless abyss. I AM THE TEENAGED FANGIRL! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! 

"Um fangirl?" Hazel asked timidly.

Yes what is it?

"Uh your breaking the forth wall."

Crap! Oh well, on with the story!

Nico and Jason, looked up finally noticing her. Despite the fact she just spoke to that fangirl person, weird. "Oh Hazel hi, I'd like you to meet my new fiancé Jason." Nico said.

Hazel was hurt really hurt. She was just wanting her mister right, her brother. But instead Nico was getting married to Jason, oh this was horrible! But instead of crying, she smiled.

"This great Nico when did you purpose?" 

"Like about, five seconds ago. And we just realized we had feelings for each other! We're totally going to pull and Anna and Hans like marriage!" Hazel managed a weak smile. 

"T-that's great Nico."

* * *

It had been three months since the purposal. The wedding was in two minuets, Hazel was miserable, and the prom was tomorrow! Annabeth and Thalia tried to make Hazel feel better. But disney movies could only do so much...

"I love my brother Annabeth, and all I want is his love in return. Is that so hard to ask?" Hazel said, while watching yet again a disney character get her prince. 

"Well seeing as Nico is fourteen. And the only place a wedding like this would be legal in is Kentucky. I assure you that within the year they'll divorce." Annabeth said. 

"Speaking of weddings does anybody else find this really akward? Like I mean I'm fine with Jason being Bi,but he's getting married to a fourteen year old. Am I the only one who finds this morally wrong on so many levels!?" Thalia said.

"Yeah it's almost like we're in a bad fanfic...Oh gods!" 

Suddenly both Annabeth and Thalia were written out of the story. Cue Piper being written in their place.

"Hazel I think you should go and confess to Nico." Piper said, totally following along the storyline.

Honestly you two, why can't you be more like her!?

"We're sorry but Thalia had a point and-" ZAP! The awesome fangirl zapped Annabeth. How dare she bring logic into this story! Logic does not make sense in this realm!

Anyhow back to the story!

"You know what Piper you're right I should tell Nico how I feel! I'll go right into that church!"

* * *

Nico and Jason were standing at the alter. Nico wearing a stylish tux. Jason wearing a lovely lace wedding gown. Everyone was so happy despite this being really wrong.

"If anyone objects to this marriage. Speak now or forever hold your piece."  Said Reyna who was the minister for some reason.  

"I object!" Said a voice and Hazel came running down the aisle. She kicked Jason in the balls and looked Nico right in the eye.

 

"Nico Stephano Di Angelo (hey a Pewdiepie refrence) I have been in love with you since you resurrected me. I care about you, so will you marry me instead?"

Nico smiled "Sure" he replied though it was a romantic "sure". Nico looked down at Jason, "No hard feelings?" Nico said

"Nah I'm going to go bang Piper. Have fun with your SILF."

Being from the forties both parties said at the same time "What's a SILF?"

"It stands for sister I'd like to fuck." Jason said, and with a curt wave he walked out.

"Well I guess you may kiss the, um bride Nico." Reyna said, rubbing the back of her head akwardly. It would take a lot of Jack Daniels to forget this.

And Nico kissed her with the passion of a million waterfalls. And they lived happily ever after. And no one thought it was incest. THE END

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's not really the voices in my head that bother me. It's the constant echo that really gets on my nerves.


End file.
